Nurses already have the jokes. The hard part is remembering them when you are writing a card, a break-room sign, or a Nurses Week caption.
These are the clean ones that travel well:
• Do not wake the day shift.
• I sat down once. It was nice.
• Fully staffed is my favorite fantasy.
• Every time I sit down, a call light goes off.
• Sleep is my specialty, coffee is my supervisor.
• Your lack of planning is not my emergency.
They work because they are about the shift itself: night shift, coffee that went cold, charting that never ends, and short staffing. If you want a longer list, including short Instagram captions and lines for a coworker card, we keep a page of funny nurse quotes at Nurse Store Co.
Many of those lines are also printed on our shirts, on Comfort Colors 1717 tees in sizes S–4XL. If you are buying for someone else, read the product title first — a few designs use stronger language than the quotes page.